Being a Mom

As I get ready to celebrate my first mothers day as a real mommy (and not a mom-to-be like last year) I can't stop thinking about my own mom. I miss her so much and often think about how wonderful it would be to see her as a grandma. However, I am trying not to dwell on those thoughts because it just makes the pain worse. Instead, I try and think about all of the happy memories of my childhood and just this morning when Jeff and I were enjoying our coffee together, I realized that so many of those memories revolve around holidays.

Every Mother's Day I remember planting flowers with my mom. She had a lot of pots including some great whiskey barrels and they were always filled with geraniums and petunias. I remember being in elementary school and going to the plant sale and buying mom some flowers. However there was always one type of flower I knew not to buy. For some reason mom didn't like marigolds and dad and I both knew never to get them. Funny side note: a few weeks ago Jeff and I were at Costco buying our flowers and he wanted marigolds. Yes they are bright and colorful but I realized I don't like marigolds either which made me wonder if I REALLY don't like them or I just think that because mom didn't....hmmmm interesting. Well, I gave in and we ended up getting some and they are now spread out among my petunias and geraniums.

During this morning coffee session Jeff and I were having we also talked about childhood birthday celebrations. My mom and dad gave me some wonderful birthday parties and I can't wait to do that for my little Katie. Some of you reading this blog even came to some of those celebrations. We went to places like Elitch's, Water World, and the Country Dinner Playhouse and even had a few wonderful celebrations in my own backyard (sleepover in the motor home). I also played competitive softball and since my birthday was in the summer we usually had a tournament. My mom would always get a cake for me and after the game (even if we had lost) she would gather the team up to sing to me. In the end she usually cheered everyone up. I love remembering those very happy times and am so thankful to have those memories that can always bring a smile to my face.


This first Mom's day will be both a happy and sad one for me but I know that my mom is looking down on me celebrating (and probably crying) right along with me. Happy Mother's Day to all the mommy's out there!